Schools To Duke It Out

As an outsider to Melbourne's curious private school system, I must confess to a giddy rush of Schadenfreude ("shameful joy") upon hearing of the looming stoush between Scotch College and St Kevin's College over CityLink's expansion (The Age, 18/5/05). Two of Melbourne's most prestigious schools, sectarian differences, powerful Old Boys, a zero-sum game, history repeating ... this has it all.

My only hope is that the matter is not resolved amicably over a glass of port in a walnut-lined backroom on Collins St. Fortunately, reported comments suggest the prospect of the two principals duking it out behind the boat sheds in the time-honoured fashion - with their respective Parents' Committees standing in a circle clapping them on - is tantalisingly close. Game on!